i have abandoned my social
media platforms—this is now a documentation
of
my
becoming

*this page is somewhat self destructing
**recent (top) oldest (bottom)

kanishka’s letter six: audre lorde writes, “i have died too many that were not mine”

bell hooks writes in theory as liberatory practice, “i came to theory because i was hurtingthe pain within me was so intense that i could not go on living”

“The little girl’s sense of secrecy that developed at prepuberty only grows in importance. She closes herself up in fierce solitude: she refuses to reveal to those around her the hidden self that she considers to be her real self and that is in fact an imaginary character: she plays at being a dancer like Tolstoy’s Natasha, or a saint like Marie Leneru, or simply the singular wonder that is herself. There is still an enormous difference between this heroine and the objective face that her parents and friends recognize in her. She is also convinced that she is misunderstood: her relationship with herself becomes even more passionate: she becomes intoxicated with her isolation, feels different, superior, exceptional: she promises that the future will take revenge on the mediocrity of her present life. From this narrow and petty existence she escapes by dreams.”

—Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex

kanishka’s letter 4:
beck’s poem on the tv show, you~~”And you knew, somewhere deep, it was too good to be true. But you let yourself be swept, because he was the first strong enough to lift you. Now, in his castle, you understand Prince Charming and Bluebeard are the same man. And you don’t get a happy end unless you love both of him. Didn’t you want this? To be loved? Didn’t you want him to crown you? Didn’t you ask for it? Didn’t you ask for it? Didn’t you ask for it?”

kanishka’s letter 3:
one of my favourite photos of andrea, but what an ugly obituary. please write me a better one when its my time/

kanishka’s letter 2:
this conversation between bell hooks and maya angelou, there’s no place to go but up; “you can tell so many facts you never get to the truth” and and and “how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?”

kanishka’s letter 1:
the power of andrea dworkin’s rage—”i heard about rape after rape; women’s lives passed before me, rape after rape; women who had been raped in homes, in cars, on beaches, in alleys, in classrooms, by one man, by two men, by five men, by eight men, hit, drugged, knifed, torn, women who had been sleeping, women who had been with their children, women who had been out for a walk or shopping or going to school or going home from school or in their offices working or in factories or in stockrooms, young women, girls, old women, thin women, fat women, housewives, secretaries, hookers, teachers, students. I simply could not bear it. So I stopped giving the speech. I thought I would die from it. I learned what I had to know, and more than I could stand to know.”